(Posted on March 1st, 2014 on my old website)
Year after year, I would make a blog and I would eventually end up abandoning it. I made one when I was around 15 and deleted it, 16 and deleted it, and now here we are. But this time, I have hope for this blog, hope that it will persevere!
What do I plan for this blog?
I have A LOT of social networking sites, and I mean A LOOOOT. I have a twitter, in which I record trivial happenings around me or nonsensical thoughts that circulated in my mind. I have a Facebook, that I occasionally check up on to see the major life events that my friends are going through. I have an Instagram, because who doesn't love to add enhancing filters to polish the beautiful memories we experience? I have a tumblr and the list could go on but that's all I really have. So the question you might ask is "What do you plan to do with this website/blog??"
My main power-fueled reason is to share the Glory of God.
I'm a storyteller. I love to share my stories with emotional expressions, dynamic language, hand gestures, background music, good lighting and all. There's this story that I love to share it to people, a story you're about to read....right.....about.....now.
I always had a relationship with God, it started around age 12. I went to Sunday School, did my very best to obey his commands, and I always prayed to him. I understood the whole concept that Jesus died for our sins and I was good to go. As I grew older, I would learn more about him and I did my very best to be as "Christian" as I could. I was an overall good kid, no doubt about it. Then came High School. I was still naive, lanky, and socially awkward. While I was in High School, I became infatuated with the idea of passion filled teenage relationships (the kind you see in movies and read in Sarah Dessen novels). My head was brimming with impure and self gratifying thoughts. I wanted to stop it, but I have no idea how to. I felt weak and dirty. I pursed the wrong things.
I remember once telling myself how afraid I was to fully pursue the Lord.
Honestly, I was scared.
I was scared that my life would be boring, I would be boring, and I wouldn't get to have fun. Little did I know, I was way wrong. So after some unfortunate events happening throughout senior year: losing a friend, having people start rumors about me, getting disappointed by close friends, pursuing a guy who wasn't equally yoked nor was I actually attracted to and losing another friend.
You could say senior year was quite terrible for me, but it wasn't. I like to call that my "character development" year, without that year I probably wouldn't even be typing here. During the time I was pursing that guy, I did many things wrong.
I kept letting him treat me poorly, but moreover, I kept sinning against God. My head permeated with sexual impure thoughts and self gratification. I also didn't really pray to God all that much, read the bible, or even obey my parents. In my senior year of High School, I felt like I was just following the act of being a Christian most of the time. Now many things happened from January all the way to June, things that aren't pivotal to the main message. By the beginning of Summer, I was already broken, hurt, and distant from God. I almost felt like there was no way he could take me back.
I needed a break from everything that was happening around me, so I packed my bags and went to a Christian camp. Sadly, many people go to this camp to meet other girls and guys, but from the mental state that I was in...all I wanted to meet was Christ again.
And I did. It gave me the exact kind of wake up call I needed.
A wake up call to just come closer to God, regardless of what I've done. A wake up call to just drop my bags and run to the guy who was waiting to pick me up all this time.
I realized there was SO MUCH things I didn't know about Jesus, and so much to learn about him. I never knew someone could love us THAT much, care for us THAT much, and be right next to us throughout our tribulations. It's a love so amazing that it would bring me to tears almost every time I tried to talk about it. And you know what? Going closer to God was all it took to make me walk away from my past ways.
And that's what I can't help but to share with everyone. This story. I have good news for everyone, you can be made new through him!
"You took off your form way of life, the old self that is corrupted by decetiful desires; you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds; you put on the new self, the one created according to God's likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth"
- Ephesians 4: 22-24
I plan to write about this new life I will live, lessons I want to teach, some of my major life events, and even stories from my life. I hope you guys will stick right next to me!