In the singleness...

(Posted on September 19th, 2014)

Let's face it, singleness can be heavily looked down upon in the Christian community and seen as this barren transitional period, especially if you desire to get married one day. My goal here isn't to bash marriage or to write a laudatory post for the single-hood, but to share how your singleness can be beneficial, because some people have many negative misconceptions of it.

First thing first (i'm the realest...), being single is completely, one hundred and two percent normal. You are not half a person; you are a whole being. You are made complete through Christ, and only through him . Your life doesn't begin the moment you fall in love with someone. 

I think it's so important to disclose that, because some people have the wrong idea that we have a soul mate out there somewhere, or that your life begins when you fall in love, or even worse, an idea that you aren't worth anything when someone isn't in love with you (oh boy, don't even get me started on that - because someone does love you). The worse thing you could do is go into a relationship without being a complete person. What I mean by that is, if you're heading into a relationship without a relationship with God, it's bound to lead to heartbreak. However, I do think even some Christians become overly focused on finding a Godly partner, and ironically that's what makes them lose sight of what their main focal point should be - Jesus
For me, being single was and still is a time of cultivating my relationship with God, to create a firm foundation that I could stand on with my own two feet before I could ever share that platform.  It was a time when I could clearly see how incredibly loved I was and how much he wanted me to realize that and accept that. It was then, and only then, when I was made 'complete' in his unbounding love. So dear single friends, please make the most of this time to know Christ more deeply -whether you are single by choice or not.

I understand that some people have no desire to marry at all, and that's totally fine, because the choice to marry is individualistically different for everyone. Then there's people like myself that wished to start a family the day they were brought into a family. Hey that's just how I was made. And as I get closer to hit my twenties (which is waaaaaay too soon), thoughts of my future husband seem to permeate my head more often. 

I even asked myself, "what if it's not in God's plan for me to get married?"

Then I shall say, "so be it," because either way I will still strive to love my God with a yearning, beating, blood pumping heart. I know that God does not owe me anything, future spouse included. That being said, I also understand the power of prayer and trust placed in God. In Psalms 37 verse 7 it says,"be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him..."So that is exactly what I will do, pray with expectancy and trust that God will answer my prayers. And if he doesn't? I have just have to know that he always has a bigger and better plan for me, and I'm so okay with that.

This is not my announcement that God has called me to be single ’til death. This is me saying singleness is not a death sentence.

It’s amazing what I’ve learned these past few years, and I know I wouldn’t have been able to grow like I have in my relationship with Christ while attaching myself to someone. I simply couldn’t have handled it.

I just want to make sure you never think I’m single because I’m independent and strong. I want you to know that I’m single, because I’m dependent and weak but depending on Christ.
— Brandi Larrick (Being Single: Pining for Someone to Like It & Put a Ring on It)